For the past few days, things have accelerated far beyond my imagination. Removing myself from the game is out of the question, the thing is, how best do I play the game? Worst still, it is not just one game, but 4 or 5!! And my time has to be divided into playing that many. Looking at the puzzles on each board makes it even harder. My head is spinning, swimming, and worse still, my battery keeps going flat. :D

Finding it hard to keep awake. Wonder what I got myself into. Where oh where did my energy go? Sleeping during lectures is one thing, it's doing my best to focus that causes me a headache. What's even more interesting is that ideas are flooding in, and I am so tempted to go for even more. (yah, even in this stage of lethargy) And the even more funny thing is, people seem to keep giving me opportunities. If as Kelvin said, that I truly am a GEM, I don't think I am shining that brightly! Haha.

And then, I have people trying to "psycho" me into getting a gf. And as I told Dong Yue, yea, I am so tempted. Lol. And just for fun, I recalled a list I did before, and since I am feeling very open right now, I shall be posting it here.

Qualities:
Loyal
Supportive
Patient
Sensible
Calm
Attractive
Intelligent

If you don't know what the list is for, try banging your head against the wall. It helps.


For my studies, I am doing my best to psycho myself as well, but knowing so many competitiors does give stress. Last semester, everyone was on a more even level, but now that the playing field is changed, can I still produce the same results? I see (and hear of) many people being far more motivated than before, wonder what it will be like next year. And yah, for the first time in dunno how long, I didn't finish my tutorial (bstats), cos I didn't know how to do. OMG. And it's the first tutorial. Ok, maybe I was too tired to think at the time, but excuses are too rampant for me to think this way. Thriving on pressure is one thing, being assailed by it in so many aspects of life is another.

CCAs are becoming even more crazy. Left and right, I have people asking me to commit. (Jason, special case for you, I did promise you that as long as you are there, so will I :D ) It is interesting how many of them ask me to quit other CCAs, yet when I want to quit theirs, they advise against it. If every single CCA does the same, when will I ever quit anything? So sorry I had to be firm with some. I need time not just for myself. I realised that to develop myself as a leader, I need time to do so as well. Stretching myself too thin is a challenge- not that I do not want to overcome it, but since I already know the answer and know how badly I will fall, I think I shall not go into that. Facing myself is becoming tougher than ever. Haha.

Also, I am so sorry to admit that I have been procrastinating on the business plan. Not only am I so caught up in the other aspects of life, but I think that fear is catching up with me after all. That has become a challenge with achieving, the more I achieve, the more I fear to lose. I will get started on the business though, my commitment will be there. But I need time, not only to clear my time, but to find people, or maybe a special someone, to help anchor me. :D

Knowing that I excel has become a challenge as well. Imagine this- in so many areas of your life, people are telling you that you have the potential to achieve more, only if you commit yourself! Toastmasters- I could prepare and rehearse my speech. Soccer- Train up? Chess- Train, research. Leadership- Apply the principles. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. I am going crazy over it. So what if I can excel? So what if I have high potential? In the end, I am not superhuman. My choice, first and foremost, has been business, and probably always will be business! Developing businesses is what inspires me, motivates me, and drives me!

As anyone probably can see, I really am under quite a bit of pressure. Having high expectations of yourself increases other's expectations of you. But while I can perform excellently should I be devoted to just one thing, not only is that impossible right now, no one and nothing can make me do it. I realised the mistake I made, and will work on the other areas now, instead of foolishly just putting my time into one. Personal development is important, but so is my health and relationship with others. Leadership is another important factor. And speaking on that, I would like to once again tell Jason that he is the LEADER I RESPECT MOST in NP!! This guy is seriously a talented leader, and despite what I have (not) done, he has never laid blame. He seems to take it all upon himself, and seeks to improve himself before pointing fingers! Leadership being more than position etc., I not only see all this in Jason, I can feel it!

Being Josh has become such a tough job. As I told Max, I like to work with idealistic people. The reason? I am very idealistic myself. Haha. I believe in myself so much that I take up challenges that people say no to. I envision the best possible scenario, and work towards it. But now, at a time when I have so many distractions, I feel vulnerable, insecure, and sometimes in utter chaos. Hopping about from event to event, participating, unleashing my skills... Haiz. I need an anchor. It is so hard for me to psycho myself now, so used I am to thinking through the same stuff. Like doing the Johari window today, I could write the part I know about myself, the the part others know about me so fast, and had people I have barely met for a day nodding towards both. Clarity has been an essential component of my achievements so far, and probably will remain as one, but in periods like this, it seems to be backfiring. Oh well...



Chuen Kiat was telling me to reveal how I score for my studies and get CCA Points. Once, I probably wouldn't have shared this information, but since I did with some people, I think it won't matter if I tell some more. After all, this is knowledge that is easily available from books. Caution- What I do is simple, but it is never easy. :D Actually, it can be easy also, provided that you have the discipline.

CCA Points: When we were going for the top 5%, getting all the CCA Points you can had meaning. Now that 72 points, with 48 in Achievement, Representation, Leadership and Service for Year 1s and later, is all we need, not only is that easy to achieve should you do it systematically, but it is totally achievable within a single year.

Basic strategy: Aim for an average of 1 point a week. In 1 year, that is 52 points, qualifying you for silver. With some participation efforts, that is easily gold in 1 year. So you ask, how do I get 1 point a week?

Leadership position in CCA- 4 to 6 points. That gives you 4 to 6 weeks of leeway. If you do not have leadership position yet, you could consider starting your own CCA, or consider the other options.

Class/Module Rep- 2 to 4 points. Another 2 to 4 weeks of leeway. Getting such a post shouldn't be hard, considering that most of the time, all you gotta do is volunteer for it!

Division events- Each division should at least have 2 events a semester. Helping out at these events nets you about 2 points. Going for both = 4 points.

Competition- 4 to 10 points? Representing the school, bonus if you achieve etc.

These can easily lead to 1 point a week, and if you count closely, it is close to 1 whole semester! During the holidays, there are events every week, especially community service, so there is no reason not to get at least 2 points a week during holidays if you really tried!

As I mentioned, this is just a game. The objective of the game is set by you. Bronze/Silver/Gold in x (months/years)? Then develop a strategy to hit your goal! Fine-tune it by changing that which does not work, and have the discipline to stick to your strategy! So many people have mastered this game, some are getting like 2-3 points a week! It all depends on yourself! If you really need help with it though, feel free to contact me! I should have more than enough events for 1 cca point a week! Haha..



Studies: Once again, this is just another game. And as with all games, set your objectives. Imagine if you were aiming for a GPA of 4.0, compared to "oh, let's see what I can get. It depends lor". What are the feelings you have for each? What action will you take for each? What kind of results would you get from each? DO you think that it would be the same? For me, I don't think so! If I were aiming for 4.0 (which I am!), I would put in my best effort. Compared to just aiming anywhere, I could be tempted by thoughts such as- "maybe we could go rest now. the minimum requirement is just to pass. that shouldn't be too hard." It is all a game of the mind.

Dare to dream, believe in yourself, dare to go the distance, then DO IT!!

For GPA, many people have their own strategies. While I know of a few others, in order to respect people's beliefs, and avoid myself being too judgemental, I shall list only my own.

1. Declare my intentions! Let people know what you intend! This will have both you and others having high expectations!

2. Ask for advise (from tutors/lecturers/seniors)

3. Do my tutorials consistently. And before lectures (I don't always do this though, due to lack of time)

4. Ask questions and participate in class!

5. Prepare, visualise, imagine. Put yourself into a context where you have to apply what you have learnt, then in your mind's eye, DO IT!! (This helps a lot!)

6. Have friends who motivate you. And help you. (just gotta mention this- like celia! haha... some other noteworthy people- kenny, kelvin, jackson, roxanne, zuoshen)

7. Be confident. But do not expect perfection. Accept that there will be some stuff that you are not sure about, but do your best to perform for each question, assessment, exam, whatever!


That is what I do basically. It is once again the discipline to stick to your strategy! Understand the concepts, not memorise them!

I know this post is nightmarishly long. Lol. But I am who I am. Josh, the non-superhuman who wants to be superhuman, might be thought of as superhuman, could be getting the results of a superhuman, but feeling the effects of being a non-superhuman with non-superhuman feelings.

Remembering what life is.....
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