I had a post before this. But deleted it. My thoughts change faster than ever I guess. And this time, it has really changed me... I recognise this feeling, having gone through it once before. Just that this time, it's a transformation of more than my thoughts. Recovering my energy got me to think like I havent in a long time. And day to day, those thoughts keep changing. But yesterday, it all struck me at one go. What has been lacking in my life. A lesson that I cant verbalise yet. But its a life I can visualise. Its a life that will materialise. I cant run away from fate. As the circle goes round and round...

We live our lives a circle, and wander where we can
Yet after fire and wonder, we end where we begin

This does not mean that I will take the path I did. This time, the focus is on letting that person within me out. I still want to be the best, and will be the best, but life is there... for me to enjoy. If we shall all end where we begin, then the journey will be what makes the difference, and I intend to make it a memorable one for myself... full of joys, delights, and overcoming of challenges and fears!

I am really grateful for the people around me, for their belief in me has helped spur me on, for they have allowed me to do what I love best, and bear with the rubbish I have. And with such a talented group, we definitely can go on to achieve far more. If they want to that is.. and if someone leads us all, or steps out to lead us all. Will that person be me? :D

Regardless of that, its time to take new initiatives in life. I have grown really comfortable with that I've been doing, because I think its fair to say that few people could have done it. Then an admonishment flies into my head... "Just because you can doesn't mean you should." And yup, with all these time to think and rest, I think my reflections just indicate one thing... I've been doing and doing, without keeping in mind what I'm doing. Of course I am happy to be doing, taking action towards my dreams is definitely worth it. But just what is my vision of the life I want to live? Is my life devoted purely to business? I think countless people might have achieved loads and loads of wealth, but why didn't they challenge for the top? Is it because they don't have the luck, have the passion, or is it that they found things that are more worthwhile, that wealth creation is only a tool for them to reach their dreams? To be honest, when I question myself, I don't see myself in business for all that long. Why? I am a person of so many interests, of multiple passions, and I am exhilarated when I indulge in any of them. The flare of life in me when I play soccer, that searing moment when I strategised my way to win in chess, the harmony I feel when I play the harmonica... And what's more, I aspire to be more. Business is undoubtedly my passion, but there are other ways to bring forth its power. Such as through SIFE, through using its principles to develop organisations, through helping people to help themselves...

I was lost. And I still am lost. But for how long more? That energy I felt sometime back might just have been a prelude to this... or not. But now I know it does not matter. Just living for the moment might be foolhardy, but what more is there to life? After the plan is set, just follow it and live it out! And stop worrying for the future! That has been one of my weaknesses thus far, no matter what I may have said or done. :D Being unable to let go... now I understand Ken Blanchard's "The Present". Maybe I realised that it was a waste of my talent.. I know I am amazing when my head is totally in the game, and I am a very "on the game" person. By pushing myself to keep planning is a waste of that. Why not just let go and unleash all that energy within...

Business shall be my career. There was never any doubt of that, but now, I would like to reaffirm it with myself once again. But is business just what most people think it is? I've been reading on a wider basis once more, and I see business practices being used for... martial arts, meditation, even in the teachings of sages and philosophers. God knows which side adapted from which, but this shows a point... what it is, go think about it.

Consumed by a relentless urge to learn now. Does it matter if I mess up? Yes it does. But I will recover from it I suppose. And be a better man for it. The person I am and the person people think me to be is actually very different, yet not that different. The difference is in the weaknesses, the fears, the mindset. If only I allow that person within to come out...

And back to a very important point. Many things no longer matter. And many things that used to not matter matters now. Do not be surprised at what I will do. And really be prepared. Change comes... And it will affect you, if you're reading this!

Remembering what life is.....
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