Realised I've not been chatting with her. Doesn't really matter though. Maybe it will be better for us all in the end. It feels so lonely to reach the epitome though. I know I did it today. Unleashed my presentation skill despite 2 days with no sleep. She was just too stunning today, and smile and laugh so much I also feel glad for her. Haha. Took my mind off my weariness perhaps. Such a chore to maintain myself. If I were most students, after OB 9-11, I could be off home to slack then revise. Instead, I have to plan for the cheers outlet thingy, look at how to improve my technical skills, prepare for interview, AGM, and another meeting later.What a life? And people can still wonder why I want to quit? So stressed. Exams coming also. I'm the rock standing against the tide, and one day, the tide will either sweep me away or just leave me drowning...

The hard work seems to have paid off, but is the result worth it? Lets wait and see....
(The above was 2 days ago, on the 30 Jan :D)

Gonna talk about motivation now. Haha. If only they can understand... many people just don't understand why I do what I do and how it helps. Motivation by inspiration and desperation... much truer than most people can imagine. And as I linked the level of acceptance and level of expectation to these two, I hope many people catch the drift. And no people, I'm not addicted at all. Seriously speaking, I've placed myself through training, and there are some things I don't think I will ever fall for again. Of course, to reach much higher levels, I've got to think of new ways to train and challenge myself, but to handle what is going on right now, I think the current me is still up to it. :D I've really manage to wear myself down though, which hasn't happened for some time. But its ok. We will start afresh soon, in 3 months time! :D

I've managed to get myself so pumped up again. For just a day, maybe I forgot what it meant to be me. Haha. But I'm so grateful that happened. Taking a break is what I needed after all, though I missed the OB revision lecture and the MIEC revision tutorial. XD But after the rest and inspiration I drew, I think it was worth it, though I'm feeling sorry for my tutors. Oh well. Do let me take a break occasionally. I'm not a machine. Lol. More than being a superstar, I know that being a leader is to bring out the best in others... and I will definitely work on it!! My confidence needs to be rebuilt though.. Haha.. But I know I can do it. After all, I've been scoring ever since the CT... :D Now's time to get my game back on track, blaze the trail to victory, and leave the misery behind. Onward onward, fight fight fight!!

I've been thinking a lot lately. And many things have come to light. I'm so immature sometimes. Haha. But I hope I'm ever improving. To me, failure isn't much of an option... not an option at all actually. Why worry, it will only affect my performance. Haha. Ever seen Josh at work before? Dun think many of you have... Not even most of the leo club people. Maybe most never will. To so many of them, they see only the tired and relaxing me, and may even wonder how I get my results. Or how I produce my work. Wahahaha... its ok. Show time. Dream it, Believe it, Dare to reach, and DO IT!! WIN THE GAME!!!

Remembering what life is.....
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