Another half a month since I last posted. Haha. I've been thinking about my role in life. What is it exactly that I do? What kind if impact do I bring? Why would people care for me? Lets see... when I disappeared from the online world, I had people who messaged me to check if anything happened to me.. but to be honest, most of my contacts only actually bother to ask about my results and what class I choosing or got into... Lol... Makes people wonder who the heck I am to them, doesn't it? Haha. Not blaming them... just musing over stuff... Maybe I had a tad too much free time... (As if)

And then, so many things I have to think about, and no one who can truly help or advise me... I believe, and many adults have agreed, that the study of business is way more than just the textbook, that community service, event management, physical training, exposure etc. are essential to a true understanding of business. Some of you may think me a fool, but I assure you, I pondered over it a long time, looked at the different factors that lead to people succeeding, and I am very sure in my belief. Social contribution is part of CSR (corporate social responsibility), and community service is a wonderful way for your people to interact, build up relationships, and share in the joy of bringing hope to others. Unless you want to remain mediocre forever, or remain in a mediocre company that is. When you expand, you will have to run events. Even a company's anniversary, or when hosting VIPs. Physical training... when you motivate your staff to do it with you, it keeps them from falling sick, and also allows people to challenge their physical and mental limitations. And exposure/experience etc is of utmost importance of course.
What can I truly let go off? Or is it my onus to keep carrying this burden, which grows more and more wearisome... and is the lethargy I feel born of excuses or a true limit on my energy? Where can I find answers? Learn the enjoy the little things in life? How do I keep focus of my overall goals then? Or was it fear generated from my overall goals that led to my slip-ups? Where the heck did determination go to? Responsibility yet remains a distance away! Of what use are advantages if not acted upon on to create a further gap? Of what stupidity is it to let my weaknesses go untended? Where oh where did the systems fly to? Dang it... Haha... Sianz ah!!

Can anyone describe what is it that I do? I cant really. Maybe it wasnt a true vision after all. Need to do it all over again. What is the impact that I bring to people around me? Plans, more plans, projects, help.. erm.. resource person maybe? God knows. So tired... But I dun want to drop it all, because there is still a life to live for, yet if I don't drop, how do I fulfill my potential? GG.. really...

I sound depressed? Lol. Not really. Haha. Actually, while I was at the Serve China pre-bonding camp, my spirit was revived.. wun really put a finger on who or what.. or was it a series? :D But the most important thing is, I will win!! Simply because I hate losing, if nothing else. At last, a game for me to play!! Afterall, it got pretty boring. Also, new class! Something to look forward to at least for now. For those who wanna know my class... its 28!! Chose it cos 3 days with lecture and tutorial on same day. Only need bring the textbook once. Hehe.

Kaez, many things I have to do yet... so here's an end to my post for now!!

Remembering what life is.....
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